Taking My Ball

Eminem – Taking My Ball

Woo!
come on, man (x2)
okay!

Hook:
It feels so wrong but it feels so right
But it's allright, it's okay with me
I'll do my steps all by myself
I don't need nobody to play with me
But if you just give me a chance
I could put you in a trance the way I dance
But don't nobody wanna play with me
So I'm taking my ball and going home
Hoo-ooome

Verse 1:
I'm that guy, man
Shove a diamond up my hind end
And crush it with my butt muscles while I cut vocals
Slut poke holes in your shirt jump in mud puddles
While I stomp mud holes in your ass, girl, now let's cuddle
Blood curdling, you're gurgling on your blood what'll
I'll do for my next trick
I'm feelin' one duffle
I think I might just do something a little less subtle
Shove a fuckin tonka truck up a little kid's butthole
Feel the wrath of a physcopath slash ambassador
of the Valentine's Day massacre slash assassin
I'll slash her in the ass with an icicle
And leave her layin a bloodbath
Put a catheder in and jump in the bath with her
In my Spiderman mask
Man, just imagine the fun I could have with a strap on
Stick it up Kim Kardashian's ass and make the bitch run a triathalon
Are those pistachios? Damn, I'd like to have some
Laying on the patio man, rollin a fat one
Shady drop the magic marker, put the cap on
God damn, man, are you that much of an asshole?

Hook:
It feels so wrong but it feels so right
But it's allright, it's okay with me
I'll do my steps all by myself
I don't need nobody to play with me
But if you just give me a chance
I could put you in a trance the way I dance
But don't nobody wanna play with me
So I'm taking my ball and going home
Hoo-ooome


Verse 2:
I'm like Houdini,
Tuck my teenie-eenie-weenie-between each one of my thighs
And make it dissapear like a ____ (??)
Make that shit dissaper like Tara Reid in a bikini
Believe me, homie, you don't know the meaning of a meanie
They call me the fruit loop from Jupiter
I'm tryin ta manuever the hoover up in your poop chute
Don't move or ya, might get it stuck up so fucking far in your uvula
You ain't gonna know what he was trying to do to ya gluteus
Totally tubular sniffing glue throught a tube in the stud-i-a
Now who do ya think is more frut-i-a?
Weenie smothered in peanut butter pudding on a tube of your eyeshadow
And man it looked nice,
You shoulda seen it, mother.
I think I put a piece of art on my Visa card
Then I go beat Mischa Barton with a Cuisinart
Then mosey on over to Rosy O'Donnell's, with McDonalds,
Jump on her lap, and watch The Sopranos

Hook:
It feels so wrong but it feels so right
But it's allright, it's okay with me
I'll do my steps all by myself
I don't need nobody to play with me
But if you just give me a chance
I could put you in a trance the way I dance
But don't nobody wanna play with me
So I'm taking my ball and going home
Hoo-ooome


Verse 3:
Shady, what are you doin' chewin' on a human?
Grab an aluminum bat, hit Hiedi Klum in the back
Boom! and assumin' the fact that that dude's in the back room
Usin' the bathroom, vacuumin' a racoon
Skewin' a rat, a cat, screwin a baboon
You shouldn't aks what is he doin with that broom
You should be glad he ain't leave you full of stab wounds
You in a trance, I'm back, doin my dance OOH
But they're afraid I might get Sarah Palin by the hair and make her wear a bathin suit
And take her parasailin?
Shady, why do ya gotta pick on the lady for?
Why you make her read 84 bedtime stories to you in baby talk?
*baby voice* Cuz I'm scared there's monsters under my bed
Can we pick one, hid my juice box under my bassinet
No wonder my ass is wet, my diaper needs to be changed
You like graffiti, dyke? Well I can pee-pee and write your name

Hook:
It feels so wrong but it feels so right
But it's allright, it's okay with me
I'll do my steps all by myself
I don't need nobody to play with me
But if you just give me a chance
I could put you in a trance the way I dance
But don't nobody wanna play with me
So I'm taking my ball and going home
Hoo-ooome

Fine. Nobody wants to play with me?
Fuck you, then. Bitch.
You guys are always mean to me, anyways.
All you do is rub gum in my hair and stuff.
You guys are gonna make me sad.
I'm sad.
I'm gonna kye... I'm kying.
*sobs*
I'm gonna tell my mom
Moooom!