I Want A New Duck

Woh oh, I want a new duck
One that won't try to bite
One that won't chew a hole in my socks
One that won't quack all nightI want a new duck
One with big webbed feet
One that knows how to wash my car
And keep his room real neatOne that won't raid the ice box
One that'll stay in shape
One that's never gonna try to migrate or escape
Or I'll tie him up with duct tapeI want a new duck
A mallard I think
One that won't make a mess of my house
Or build a nest in the bathroom sinkI want a new duck
One that won't steal a beer
One that won't stick his bill in my mail
One that knows the duck stops hereOne that won't drive me crazy waddling all around
One who'll teach me how to swim and help me not to drown
And show me how to get down
How to get down, babyGet it?
Quack, quack, quack, quack
Quack, quack, quack, quackI want a new duck
Not a swan or a goose
Just a drake, I can dress real cute
Think I'm gonna name him BruceI want a new duck
Not a quail or an owl
One that won't molt too much
One that won't smell too foulOne that won't beg for breadcrumbs
Hangin' around all day
He'd better mind his manners
Better do just what I say
Or he's gonna be duck pate, duck pate, yah, yahQuack, quack, quack, quack
Quack, quack, quack, quack